email me.....hvac4u@hotmail.com
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Looking for Slammin Randy
my long time friend "slammin randy" has dropped out of sight. if you see him send him my way
RIP Mr Teddy
Becky toted this fellow around for over a decade. She left him at the hotel when we did Barnesville (an FBA event). The hotel said they did not find him, that was 2 years ago. She mentioned him just yesterday. I would give $5K to find him again...........
The Amish Elevator
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They
were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny,
silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this, Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is'.
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father
watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.
The father said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your mother.'
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and
laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...'
ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten
rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Suffering Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
You Gonna Eat All That?
From FlipFlops in New Smyrna, FL. Four half pound patties with potato pancakes, five cheeses, grilled peppers, fried onions, lettuce, tomato, bacon, and a pound of fries for a side.
"This is Why You're Fat"
Half pound of sausage, half pound of bacon, half pound of cheese, a 6 egg omeltte, and hash browns, all sandwiched between 2 seven inch, gravy-filled biscuits.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
they call me the muffin man
tin muffin pan, slice of ham, one egg and some cheese. put this on an english muffin and breakfast is ready!!
It's not difficult to make a woman happy..
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. Give her an unlimited credit card account
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
55. Never to forget:
1. Show up naked
2. Bring alcohol
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. Give her an unlimited credit card account
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
55. Never to forget:
- birthdays
- anniversaries
- arrangements she makes
1. Show up naked
2. Bring alcohol
Found on the Refrigerator One Morning :
My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54
years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value
youas a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening
with my18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be
upset----I shall be home before midnight.
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty
about my being 54years old. I would like to take this opportunity to
remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math
teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you
read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my
students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile,
and like your secretary, is 18 years old.
As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you
will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small
difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
Updating recent events.....
Have not posted in a while..... since i last checked in.....
we took first in sauce and fifth in pork in Cartersville
we took second in desert in Kennesaw
John West and Pete Warner joined the Grillin Gaspassers
10/15 and 10/16 we will be competing in the Cherokee Pignic as Team Comfort Zone
i now have a facebook page
my grand daughter Addyson started walking!!
i turned 50
a LOT more to come!
we took first in sauce and fifth in pork in Cartersville
we took second in desert in Kennesaw
John West and Pete Warner joined the Grillin Gaspassers
10/15 and 10/16 we will be competing in the Cherokee Pignic as Team Comfort Zone
i now have a facebook page
my grand daughter Addyson started walking!!
i turned 50
a LOT more to come!
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